|
Take these broken wings and learn to fly again...
|
Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 January
2004 December
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Take these broken wings and learn to fly again... |
| 06.30.04 (9:54 pm) [edit] |
|
Serious thinking time... reevaluating who I am time... drifting off course time... the last three years, looking back, I can see how far I've drifted from who I was. And, well, I liked who I was then... basically. But I really thought who I had becom, how I had changed, it was all for the better. But my values, my goals, my entire life just shifted so so much. So did my motivation. Now I dont know who I truly am, and who I truly want to be, whether Im actually any better, or any worse. I have this longing for some life changing experience, as if I need something like cleansing and purifying, like a self-discovery mission. The only thing is.. maybe Im afraid to discover who I truly am. But how can anyone truly get to know me if I wont even let myself see my true self..? There are tons of people out there who think they know me... but in reality... we dont... [b]we[/b] dont know me. There is a side to me that is totally comfortable and geniune, but its as if I freak out when people get a glimpse of it. You can push hurtful words aside when they come from someone who doesnt really know you... but I really want to take a risk... let someone truly see the real Sarah... I am just genuinely scared that the true me isnt good enough. I've hurt so many people by hiding myself from them... on many different levels. I know when Im hiding myself, when I start to condradict myself and change my mind. I really know exactly what I want about 99.9% of the time... but what if even sharing that is too much? It is crazy how dependent I have become on thoughts. You probably think Im just rambling about what others think about me here... but realistically, Im my biggest critic... I am the one I do not want to fail ultimately. So tomorrow, Im walking into Dunkin Donuts with someone.. I dont care who, and Im ordering exactly what I want. I always know. But then there are all the "they'll think" thoughts. A pig... anorexic... weird... it doesnt matter anymore. Sheesh, this sounds sad... but that's ok... baby steps. Im done with the secrets and done with the hiding. This scares me out of my mind... but all my friends... all... well everyone... you're about to see who I really am... slowly... but surely... you'll get to really know me. Let's hope you like who you meet.
|
|
|
| |
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 07.07.04 (9:46 pm)
Miss Sarah, we have been over this before!!! I know who you truly are, and if you forgot, just ask me! :) seriously babe, just go w* the flowww! I love you to chunks, dont ever change!
|
//Song of the Week:
This is for all you girls about 13
High school can be so rough, can be so mean
Hold on to, on to, your innocence
Stand up tall
When everybody's givin in
This one's for the girls
This is for all you girls about 25
In a little apartment
Just trying to get by
Livin' on, on dreams and Spaghettio's
Wonderin where your life is gonna go
This one's for the girls
This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls//
|
